Her: Happy Valentine’s Day.

Me: Right back at you. I didn’t get you shit.

Her: I didn’t get you anything either.

(Smiles all around.)

Her: Thank you for taking care of my cat.

Me: Thank you for my motorcycle.

(Then the scene degenerates into smooching.)

The father in the TV show Modern Family tries to tell his wife that Valentine’s Day isn’t about who wins (She unveiled a motorcycle she bought him for V-day and claimed to be the winner), but really, we both win.


I will, however, wait to see if she brings home any of those heart shaped candies with asinine phrases. I love those things.